A win, win, win, solution:
Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. Use the dirt to raise the levies in New Orleans, and then put the Florida alligators in the moat.
Are there any other problems you would like for me to solve?
“In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person’s becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American. There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn’t an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag… We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language… and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.”
President Theodore Roosevelt, 1907
(Of course, that’s from all from forwarded e-mail. I’m sure you’ve seen it before you saw it here, but I liked it.)