So I’ve had or seen this argument twice in the last week: If you’re gay keep it to yourself.
The first was a business twitter account (I’m not telling) who was commenting on the Evansville Sexual Orientation non-discrimination ordinance (http://goo.gl/1OWZJ). And the business asked why did anyone have to know about it?
The second was through a fraternal organization I’m affiliated with and the person basically said that the LGBT and Ally group was offensive and that you should keep being gay to yourself.
Both spoke out of basic ignorance and misunderstanding of why this is important. I’ve recently read some articles that have changed some of the ways I think (or at least have made me aware) about the instances of majority privilege. I’m a white, middle-class male so discrimination isn’t something I had to deal with until I came out. (A little bullying in school for being different but wouldn’t really call that discrimination.)
I digress.
The point is why do you “need” to know I’m gay? (Yes these are generalizations…but close enough)
1) People generally assume everyone is heterosexual.
2) Heterosexuality is talked about constantly everywhere.
3) People don’t like different.
Number 1 is just part of life. The population is generally heterosexual. Not that big a deal.
Number 2 is where the problem creeps in. (I’m male and the above are male so if you’re female please switch to be appropriate gender.)
Do you talk about your wife, girlfriend, or dates with women you have been on?
You’re talking about your sexuality.
(I’d include kids but I know gays who’ve adopted so it only kinda counts.)
A friend figured out that I was gay before I came out because I never talked about dating. At all. Ever. Because if I did have to talk about dating I’d have had to talk about a guy…which means I’m not keeping my sexual orientation to myself. Now that I’m out I can openly talk about going on dates with whatever guy I happen to be seeing.
You “need” to know only because it’s what everyone talks about all the time: our sexual orientation.
I’ll talk about #3 later.
2 Responses to “I’m a homo and why you need to know.”
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
You make it sound like those who didn’t figure it out were bad friends, but a lot of people didn’t talk about dating at Rose. It was a school full of awkward nerds, as I recall.
Hm, that’s not the implication I intended…plus back then I did date a couple of nice young ladies so it’s not like I made it easy. And really only one person figured it out via the gaps in my conversation so no slight meant.